Sallie Darlington to Elizabeth (Abbot) Bowditch, 24 June 1855

[From Sallie Darlington in West Chester, Pennsylvania, to Elizabeth (Abbot) Bowditch. She expresses her grief and sends consolations on the death of Elizabeth's son George Abbot Bowditch; says her health has improved; invites Elizabeth to come north, and bring Georgiana, to spend August with her; and says she plans to visit Philadelphia for a few days, then an uncle in New Jersey.]

West Chester
June 24th/55

My dear Mrs. Bowditch,

I cannot tell you how shocked and grieved I was on receiving your letter; as day after day passed, and I heard nothing from you, I began to feel very uneasy and almost sure that something was the matter, indeed I had determined to write again the last of the week, as I could imagine no other cause but sickness, either of yourself or some member of the family, that would prevent your writing to me, and when your letter was given me and I saw the black seal, I felt that my fears were but too true, and my hands trembled so, I could scarcely open the envelope. But I cannot tell you my feelings when I found that it was Abbot,1 that darling little boy that I loved so dearly, who had been taken. You know that I never could conceal my partiality for him, and indeed I can truly say, that I never met with a child who won so on my love; in addition to which, his very remarkable intelligence and manly little traits of character, made him particularly interesting to me.

I know perfectly well, my dear Mrs. Bowditch, that nothing which I can say, can, in the least, serve to alleviate your grief, for I know from sad experience, how, at such times, words of so-called consolation fall on the ear, but cannot reach the heart, giving pain even sometimes, instead of comfort and relief; still, I cannot refrain from assuring you how most sincerely I sympathise with you and share your grief, and how very much I regret not being with you at the time; for although I do not flatter myself, by supposing I could have been of any very great service, yet I might perhaps have relieved you of some of the cares always more or less attendant on sickness, and thus in a very trifling degree make some return for the unwearied kindness I received both from you and Mr. Bowditch2 during my long residence with you, or at least, show my appreciation of it.

Do you remember some verses I sang you once, on the death of a child, in which these lines occur — "God gave - He took - He will restore - He doeth all things well"? Since receiving your letter, those words have been recurring to my mind constantly, and I find myself repeating them almost involuntarily - returning to them as it were, for strength to be enabled not to doubt nor question the wisdom and mercy of God, under so afflictive a dispensation of His providence. Indeed, it seems to me, that without comfort from that source, at such a time the heart must almost break with grief, and all must appear dark and mysterious.

My health since my return has been very good; I immediately commenced taking bitters and iron, and feel much stronger - change of air also, always benefitted my very much. And now, my dear Mrs. Bowditch, I do so very much wish I could prevail on you to visit me this summer. I am sure it would do you good in many ways. Our air is so pure and healthy, and everything so fresh and green, I am confident your spirits as well as your health would be benefitted. Will you not come and bring Georgiana3 and spend August with me? Do think about it seriously. Kate4 wishes me to give you her love, and say how very much pleasure it would give her, to have you make us a long visit, and Pa5 told me to try and see if I could not hold out some inducement sufficiently strong to tempt you to come. We certainly would all try to make your visit pleasant, and the journey is very trifling to one who is fond of travelling, as you are. Will not some of our Tarboro friends be travelling North this summer, under whose escort you could come? If so, I need not say how glad I should be to see them in West Chester - especially if they brought you with them.

Next Tuesday I expect to go to Phila. to spend a few days, and from there to visit an Uncle6 residing in New Jersey, but shall not be from home longer than a week. I shall call and see Mary Pittman7 as she has sent me word by some of our girls, that she wants to see me; on my return home I will write to you again and tell you about her. Give my love to those ladies, who you think will care for it, and remember me to Mr. Burton.8 I cannot particularize where there are so many of whom I retain such kind remembrances, therefore you must say what you think proper, to any who may inquire for me. Give my kindest regards to Mr. Bowditch2 and love to the children, and believe me, most truly and sincerely, and with much love, your friend

Sallie

Do write to me again soon - next to talking, writing to one's friends, freely and unreservedly, as I trust we shall do, serves to relieve the mind of care and trouble, more than anything else.

  1. George Abbot Bowditch (1850-1855), Elizabeth's son
  2. Joseph Henry Bowditch (1818-1900), Elizabeth's husband
  3. Georgiana Abbot Bowditch (1848-1927), Elizabeth's daughter
  4. Catharine Lacy Darlington (1823-1886), Sallie's sister
  5. William Darlington (1782-1863), Sallie's father
  6. Thomas Reynolds Lacey (1787-1865), Sallie's mother's brother
  7. Mary Ann Streeter Pittman (1838-1861)
  8. Probably Conway Whiting Burton (abt 1833-1856)