James Gould to Elizabeth (Abbot) Bowditch, 3 April 1859

[From James Gould in Baltimore, Maryland, to Elizabeth (Abbot) Bowditch. He expresses his feelings on the death of his wife Eliza, describes the circumstances of her death, and thanks Elizabeth for her expressions of sympathy; and says that "Sister Kate" has been very sick.]

Baltimore April 3rd 1859

Dear Lizzie,

Your very kind letter of the 29th is before me, and I thank you kindly for the sympathy expressed for me, as has also Martha1 and Ellen,2 and my poor thanks is all I have to offer. I have no heart to write to anyone, and tho I feel very grateful to you all I cannot express it sufficiently, and you will excuse me. We must die. This solemn truth is known to us all the time, and yet we do not realise half its import until our own homes are stricken, and we feel the void a dear friend has left. I look about me, and around me and it seems as tho' she3 must be here.

No answering smile now greets my saddened tone.
No voice now echoes back my plaintive moan.
No gentle hand now smooths my pillowed head,
Or holds sweet converse, all those joys are fled.

Alone the remnant of my Pilgrim way,
I now must travel to lifes latest day.
That day, submissively I hope is near,
And find my solace and my comfort there.

Poor poetry for even extempore, but it came uncalled and seemed the most natural expression. And to dear Lizzie I may unbind my soul of Sorrow, knowing your kindness & charitable heart. A mother never tires of speaking the praises of her child, and I could recount to you and recall, so much that has cheered my life, but I forbear. We were alone and childless. And I cannot be too grateful that I have been spared, to minister to her comfort in her last moments, for had she survived me I fear she would have suffered much.

You ask the particulars of her illness. She took cold about two weeks before, and had a very sore throat, from which she seemed to have recovered in about a week. Was so well that she went down stairs and again took charge of the family matters. It was a very mild day, and after dinner she took a nap on the sofa, and took a fresh cold, which brot on a cough very continuous, but not apparently worse than she had often experienced before. I asked her if she would call in advise but she said no, untill I think the fourth day. When I came home to dinner I found her very feeble, and she said she thot she ought to see a Doctor. I went immediately before dinner for him, and when he came he gave me no hope. And the next day she died, March 10th. She was not aware of it until probably a very short time before she breathed her last, supported in bed in my arms, with very little suffering except from weakness of which she complained for several days. She is now with a God of Mercy, a God of Love. She gave me her whole heart & true affection. Oh that we may be soon reunited.

You have been an eyewitness of her care and devotion to me. And she has since your Father's4 death felt drawn to you and Martha & Ellen as the only relatives left to her, and talked a great deal about you. She was much please at your present of Wine and Raspberries. The last I opened that same evening Mr. B.5 left them, for her to taste, which she did, and I sealed them up immediately. She was sorry that she could not see Mr. Bowditch but was too sick.

I telegraphed for Kate6 who arrived on the 10th but too late to see her. Also for George7 & Lydia,8 who came in time to attend her Oskquies,9 and stayed a few days. Sister Kate is with me, very sick. Before Lydia left Kate had a swelling come between the two first fingers of the right hand, which seemed light at first but extended to the wrist, arm and shoulder, very painful. Went to bed 10 days ago, and the arm is better but it struck to her stomach and for several days we have been very uneasy, and are still. She is also very feeble and much fever. Send her love to you. Ellen2 kindly offered to come on from N York, but we prefer to be alone at present, tho' no less grateful for the offer.

If we should never meet again here, may we have a happy meeting hereafter.

God bless you dear Lizzie.

And yours very truly,

James Gould

  1. Martha Eliza Abbot (1835-1870), Elizabeth's sister
  2. Ellen Louisa Abbot (1837-1887), Elizabeth's sister
  3. Elizabeth Leach (1797-1859), James's wife
  4. George Abbot (1791-1848), Elizabeth's father
  5. Joseph Henry Bowditch (1818-1900), Elizabeth's husband
  6. Catherine Gould (-1869), James's sister
  7. George Francis Weld (abt 1800-1875). husband of James's sister Lydia
  8. Lydia Gould (1805-1888), James's sister
  9. This should be "obsequies," meaning funeral rites.