Charles Swikert sometimes wrote about a variety of other subjects, sometimes humorously.

Untitled (How much would a wife cost?)

How much is this going to cost me,
If I take a wife of my own?
When I come home in the evening
Will I know she will always be home?

If I go out with the boys for an outing,
And get home real late at night,
Will my supper be ready and waiting?
Will she say everything is all right?

If my money is gone before payday,
And there is no beer left on the shelf,
Will I know that she has some money
And will bring home such things by herself?

Now don't think I'm being selfish,
Or that I should always go first.
If she agrees with the things I have mentioned
I will take her for better or worst.

The Henpecked Husband

Now don't forget that lonely man,
The one you left at home
While you were out having fun
And he is home alone.

He works hard every day,
Seven days a week,
So you can sit and chatter
With the gal across the street.

So when he comes home and asks
For a drink to quench his thirst,
Don't tell him wait until
He has fixed the faucet first.

He had a hard day at the office,
With the boss he had his fill.
And when he comes home and the lights are out
Because you didn't pay the bill.

He would like a quiet evening
With the newspaper and cigar,
But you say "No, don't do that.
We are going to a bazaar."

He would like to see a ball game
On the TV or a fight,
But you say he can't do that
Because this is ladies night.

He has to sweep the snow away
From the sidewalk, steps, and such,
While you are in a nice warm house,
And through the window watch.

Now when he is out to Lodge
To visit with the boys,
Don't say he's out with some girls,
And that he is telling lies.

He drives you to the grocery store
Or someplace else to shop,
And the way you're spending money
He thinks it will never stop.

When you come home from shopping
Loaded down with stuff,
And say "I spent all my money,
And didn't have enough."

Now don't think he's ungrateful
For the little things you do.
He just wants you to remember
That he is human too.

If you treat him kindly,
Like he has treated you,
You will find him ever at your side,
And always loving you.

Equal Rights???

You women folks are having fun
While the men folks are left at home.
Is that your idea of equal,
When the husband is left alone?

I know you are not selfish,
Maybe you just don't see.
When you ladies are having the time of your life,
Oh how lonesome us poor men can be.

We men must take out the garbage
And rake up the leaves to burn,
While you women are taking it easy,
And watch the "As The World Turns."

Us men must work for a living
And bring home a check each week,
And as soon as you can cash it,
You go on a spending streak.

Now don't think we are bitter,
We just don't quite understand.
We think things should be more equal,
And much better life for the man.

Untitled, 1985

We have gathered here this evening
To recognize our friends,
Who are always ready
To lend a helping hand.

When you help others,
Others will help you,
And the work will be much lighter
In everything we do.

I know I will miss someone,
And I hope it won't be you,
Because I make mistakes
In everything I do.

So settle back and listen
While I ramble on,
About my friends and neighbors,
In fact most anyone.

Life is not a bed of roses,
Some is filled with cold and sleet,
So be kind to all your neighbors
And to everyone you meet.

For someday you may travel
And be stranded far from home,
But if you have made a lot of friends,
You will never be alone.

If there's someone who is ill
That is down the road away,
Why don't you stop and see him?
It will brighten his day.

If you are helping others,
Then others will help you,
And this will be a better world,
Because of little things you do.

A little ray of sunshine
And a little friendly smile,
Takes only a moment,
But will last for quite a while.

It may be dark around you
When the clouds bring on the rain,
But if you keep on smiling
The sun will shine again.

Untitled, June 24, 1981

As we journey down the highway
Of life's rugged path,
Let us give a cheery greeting
To others as we pass.

If you see one who falters,
Stop and help him if you can.
You will find it most rewarding
When you lend a helping hand.

For if you help another,
Some one will help you,
And you will find life sweeter
Because of the good things that you do.

Untitled, June 24, 1981

When you are sitting by the bedside
Of some one who is ill,
You are rendering a service.
Nothing else will do as well.

Now maybe you are too busy,
Or have some excuse that's worse.
But would you feel the same way
If your places were reversed?

So put it off no longer.
Go do it right away.
You may be the very one
To brighten up his day.

Untitled, June 24, 1981

The sun comes up out of the East
And travels toward the west,
But the quiet of the evening
Is the time that I like best.

When the day's work is finished
And your cares are put to rest,
It is nice to sit and visit,
Or just to reminisce.

And though you may be far away
In a motel all alone,
You can brighten up your evening
By a telephone call back home.

Untitled, June 24, 1981

Did you ever stop to wonder
How the mountains came to be,
And how the mighty redwood trees
Have stood for centuries.

It's the working of a mighty hand
Too great for man to do.
So count it as a blessing.
This land was made for you.

So in your daily travels
Think careful what you do.
Remember all this beauty
Is met for others too.

Untitled, June 24, 1981

When the April showers are with us
And the songbirds reappear,
All the signs around us
tell us springtime seasons here.

When the mushrooms are popping up
And the trees are getting green,
You feel this is the season,
The best you have ever seen.

Spring is the time for planting
The seed of friendship too,
And you will gain a lot of friends
By the little things you do.

Untitled, 1965

Some people have pigeons,
So what do I care?
I am retired, so there, so there.

So those who must work
Must put up with what's there.
I am retired, so what do I care?

You are making more money
When you work in the dirt,
So take it along with the
Pigeon dessert.

So when you get paid,
To the cleaners you go,
To clean what you caught
When the pigeons flew low.

Now don't think of me
For shedding no tears,
For I've been retired for
Several years.

Untitled, June 1975

My hospital stay is over,
I will soon be going home
To pick up where I left off
With the dust mop and the broom.

The nurses have been very nice.
They ask you how you feel,
And then they come and jab you
With that hypodermic needle.

The rest you have been getting
Is really quite a deal.
If we did not have to worry
About that hypodermic needle.

I will go home and play some records
And some music by the Beatles,
And hope I soon forget
That hypodermic needle.

CETA Project

With boards and brick and some cement,
With workers here that CETA sent,
A house was built with all the trim.
That house was built right in the gym.

Jim is saying that wall won't stand,
So take it down and start again.
Russ has his saws that can't go wrong,
But some boards are short and some too long.

It doesn't need to be exact
Because Don has dope to fill the cracks.
The plumber is busy as can be,
Showing the class a plastic tee.

We cannot forget the basic ed,
Because that's part of the overhead.
Maureen and Mike sit on their stool
And show them how to read a rule.

No matter how the scale is put
There is still sixteen inches to the foot.
George has his office and his aide.
He takes the blame for the mistakes that's made.

Now if the weather is cold
And things get rough,
Just say to yourself,
"I have had enough."

So get in your car
And all pile in.
There is plenty of time
Between now and spring.

In closing this letter,
I am the sender,
But you are the friends,
I will always remember.

Characters: Chas. Swikert, Mauren Howard, Mike Downs, Russ Johnson, Geo. Tucker, Don Hunt, Jim Nicks, Don Negosky